Ca2

Hopefully. Heh.

I still remember…(Part 3)

I loved Barbie dolls.

Well, at least I was forced to. The thing I love most about Barbie dolls is changing their clothes.

When I was still a little kid in kindergarden, I had very little friends. I mean, close friends. The few friends that
I could click with as a toddler, I could count with my fingers. One such close friend of mine was my neighbour.

And she was a girl! The fun part about having a girl about your age is…well, you get to play with her toys.

Another problem is, her only toys were Barbie dolls. Needless to say, I was forced to play Barbie dolls with her.
I won’t exactly say playing Barbie dolls isn’t fun. IT’S UTTERLY MINDLESS! What the hell was I doing playing with
Barbie dolls anyway?

Apart from the occassional ”Hey, here have some tea!”, or ”Let’s walk both our Barbie dolls together and
pretend we’re in a park!”, I must say I found the entire experience a little disturbing. Well, maybe that’s
because I’m a 101% ice-cold killer guy. I think.

I could still remember it clearly in my head. My neighbour would pretend that her female Barbie would pour some tea for my “male” doll. I think his name was Ken, right?  Well, obviously I had to control the guy doll.
A guy playing Barbie dolls and controlling a girl doll is simply gay.
While she was pouring tea, I would just suddenly say, “Hey, I think you’re Barbie is hot lah. Why not we change her clothes?”

And before she knew it, I would grab the doll of her hands and strip it to the bare minimum, and admire the beauty of man’s creation. What’d you expect? I was only like 4-5 years old and that was the closest thing to porn, I think. It probably didn’t mean anything to me that time as I was just wondering why was there two humps on the chest while my “Ken” doll had nothing. The silly part was when I took the doll and wave it in front of her face saying, “Ha ha your Barbie is naked!”. Amazingly stupid of me.

I would often strip the dolls off their clothings whenever my neighbour was away, just to see the expression on her face when she returned. It was funny how I got wild ideas last time by placing both attire-less dolls on the bed and pretend they were doing some fun activities. I am almost certain I didn’t knew what sex was that time, so it still puzzles me sometimes.

But looking back now, I can see how stupid that was.

Communication breakdown.

Have a good laugh to release your tension…

Two old friends – a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation recently ….

A pek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?
Ali: Manyak bagut. Bila lu potong haa lu punya barang manyak bersih loo…
Apek: ?!! err … saya kawan ada cakap, potong zaka aaahh…. manyak ploblem..
Ali: Apa probrem ?
Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh .. dia punya performance tatak bagut…
manyak cinang semputloh …
Ali: Cehh… apek, lu apa celita… saya suda lama potong.
tada apa problem… bini saya manyak puas woo…
Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?
Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh… lagi sedap maen woo..
lu lagi lambat pancut..
Apek: ???!!! err… lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??
Ali: ??!! woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha .. saya punya 6 inci laa..
Apek: ??! Tiu nia ma… lu jgn maen2 haa.. mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..
Ali: Cilaka apek ni…nah tengok (opens histrousers)
Apek: Chee sin punya olang…..gua tanya baik2 … lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau..
Ali: Abis… lu tarak percaya..saya tunjuk la..
Apek: Saya tatak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau…
Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car… potong zaka..
Ali: Aiya… apek… lain kali lu sebut betul2 la….kasi susa saja..
Bukan potong zaka la…. protonsaga.. ……

The Al-Ikhsan expose! Maybe not.

Have you ever read the newspaper and coming across the Al-Ikhsan advertisements, you drooled at the prices of the goods on display? No? Not even a little?
Well, you’ve got to admit that some, if not most of the goods there can be bought for quite a bargain. Some going even as low as RM50 below the average price range.

I recently decided to purchase a pair of shoes from Al-Ikhsan after setting eyes upon one of the models that was shown in the newspaper. Well, only RM140 for a pair of Nike shoes…who wouldn’t want it?

THAT was what I thought. Kanasai! I went there on the weekend and saw that particular model displayed on the shelf. When I tried it on, I was so disappointed! It was really hard and uncomfortable. I tried a few more other models that were also going for around that price range, and when I finally found one, I asked the shopkeeper for the other half.

I was feeling good. A pair of shoes that weren’t too bad looking and bought for a bargain. If you’re a shop-a-holic, you’d feel the same way too.

The other half came shortly. I was shocked! When I compared both sides, one was yellow while the other was white. The display unit was yellowish! You know la, exposed to dusty environment, spotlight, all those lah.
I asked her for a new pair. Guess what? LAST PAIR!

I went on to enquire about 5 other models. ALL BLARDY LAST PAIR. Macam mana sekarang??

No wonder all so cheap. It’s all the last pair and nobody wants it due to its faulty condition. What for pay for something that you’re not happy with? The shopkeeper told me, “Lu mau yang cantik? Nah ni…RM230++.”

Smart advertising. They got me by making me come all the way here.

So that means it won’t make any difference if I had went to a Nike or Adidas outlet instead. The “buyable” ones are almost the same price anyway. I’m talking about quality here. The rest are known as junks. If you’re really good at swallowing junks, then you should come and do your shopping here.

Then again, perhaps most of you already realised this.