The Amazing Phuket Race!

Sawadikaap! Now that I’m back from Phuket after a 5-day trip over the last weekend, let’s do some reviewing of what I’ve come to learn.

Reason for departure: I realized that I had lost my soul along the way and I had decided to embark on a uniquely mesmering journey to recover my lost soul.
Lesson learnt: After going through a journey which was quite an eye-opener, I now know the very meaning of life itself. And it isn’t all about chicks.
It’s about chicks AND money.

No, of course I’m only kidding.

Anyway, as you all would recall, I set myself on a mini-objective (which you can read from the previous post) and as usual whenever I made a promise, I always try to deliver!
Before I left, I did mention that I would try and get pictures of topless ang-mos. Unfortunately, either they were camera shy, or it is the ‘off-peak’ season. This was the closest I was ever gonna get to finding someone topless.

Sorry to disappoint all the hamsap-lo out there. If you’re really THAT desperate, go to www.xxx.com.

I also did mention that I was gonna try and take a picture with some hot thai chick..and wallah!

Hot anot? Well you probably can’t see it here, but let me tell you this. She looks mighty fine
in person. Now, now, don’t start getting jealous…there’s after all, plenty more fishes in the sea.

I departed to Phuket with AirAsia last Saturday. I decided to try out AirAsia since I’ve always
been sitting MAS all these while, and perhaps I should do a review on AirAsia as well.

Bah ok fine. I was being cheap and need to travel on a budget and AirAsia, being the
cheapest available flight around, it leaves me with not much choice eh?

I don’t really know how much the other fares are, but it cost me approximately RM350
(inclusive or airport tax and all that shit) for a two-way flight to Phuket and back. Pretty decent price, won’t you agree?

You don’t usually get pictures this close up..because it’s illegal! I got sounded by the guard momentarily after I took this picture.
For the price I paid and the quality of service that I received, I would say that it is rather worth it. AirAsia tries to squeeze more money out of you while you are onboard
by providing you with merchandises, food and beverages at an outrageous price.
A cup of instant noodles which you can get for RM1.40 here cost RM7 there. Cool eh?

Overall it was a pleasant flight. Too bad they didn’t had any hot air stewardess on board though.
If not, we probably could’ve been a couple snap some pictures together.
It took about 1 hour to reach Phuket International Airport from KLIA.

Where did we stayed? Well its KNNWTFCCB J.W Marriott alright!! Bloody 5-star hotel, probably one of the best in Phuket (and Thailand)!

The Marriott is located about 20 minutes from the airport and is isolated from EVERYWHERE. And yes that includes the main town, the small town, the hooker centre and even the ah gua centre.
It is approximately 30 minutes from the nearest town and about 45 minutes from Phuket’s main town.
Yes, in other words..we were cut off from civilisation. The idea is to provide you with a place of peace and serenity where you can enjoy your holiday without a care for the outside world.

This unfortunately, is bad news for poor chaps like me. The Marriott basically charges an exhorbitant amount of price for all kinds of food and groceries there.

An average meal would cost RM30-Rm50 per person. Bloody hell! With everything so expensive and civilisation so damn far away, it WILL literally kill you just to stay and
dine here, assuming you are not an ang-mo and you were to stay here for more than 3-4 days.

The apartment which we stayed boast a tiuniaseng pricetag of USD 550 a night, which is roughly RM2000 !!

Imagine that, if you’re some average worker who earns about 2k a month…and you were to
come here and spend a night, what you earn will literally turn to ashes overnight while
you sleep on that luxurious bed.

If you were to stay here, you will most likely only be able to see Caucasians roaming around the resort. I was staying here for 5 days and the only other Asian-looking people that I saw was myself in the mirror, my family and the hotel staffs.

The bloody toilet is so damn exquisite and shiny that I tak sampai hati to take a shower in the
over-the-top classy jacuzzi tub. It looks like a museum for fine arts.
Seriously, it is so hard to fine a speck of dust or even some significant amount of dirt. Kudos to
the housekeeping department.

Their freaking TV services even provide adult channels for you pleasure. The only catch is you have to pay for it. Don’t want the kids watching some unpleasant stuff now, do we?

There were 7 of us living in that apartment, and if we were to consider eating at the hotel restaurant throughout the entire duration there, it would bloody cost us RM280 a meal.
Better yet, it would total up to an amazing RM280 x 5 days x 3 meals a day = RM4200!!
All that just for food.

Sometimes, you gotta learn to travel smart.

Instant noodles only cost RM2 each. But in order to get these, you will need to hire a van from the local transport company.

This little babies, ok maybe not so little..babies here cost a sweet sum of RM220 a day. Expensive? I don’t know..you tell me. At least we can use it to travel around town to get groceries, sightseeing and stuff like that. Better than staying in the hotel and getting robbed in the daylight over the food.

J.W. Marriott commands almost 17km of untouched, unresided and untarnished beach. That’s amazingly far alright. Almost the length of 30 AirAsia’s planes!
Well, honestly I don’t know how many planes it would amount to. I was just crapping.

Take a look at the beach here.

There is almost minimal, or no human presence at all, at any given time of the day.
The beach is sooo clean, you could practically roll around like a baby and not get sand in your ass. Try it. It’s a private beach after all, no one would even watch you if you were to strip naked here and lie down under the scorching sun.

Now if you were to compare this beach with the local public beaches…you get this.

Heavily populated, tons of sweaty bodies and a whole bunch of people trying to capitalise on the presence of rich caucasians by walking up the beach and selling all kinds
of merchandises, this certainly is the place to be if you like to be amidst the hustle and bustle of beach life.
No peace and privacy for you though.

That’s it for now, stay tune for more fun and adventure…next, on The Amazing Phuket Race Pt.2!

Cheerio!